Wanted: Pro Bono Coach

I have a coaching position that needs to be filled. My qualifications: a couple years of city league basketball in my early teens. I was captain of my college intramural baseball team. Although come to think of it that consisted of setting up the batting order, fielding positions, and keeping most of my players entertained with witty banter. Oh yeah, I did compete in a couple video game competitions. Nothing formal though, usually just impromptu late night games that seemed to happen every night. As you can see, I have little experience that would make me fit to coach anything. So why has society decided to call dads "coaches?" It was probably coined by those guys that wish they could carry the baby. The ones who tell everyone "we" are pregnant. Either that or maybe it was ladies who are trying to make guys feel like they really have something to contribute to the birthing process. I kind of like the good old days where the men were out in the waiting rooms smoking and sweating. Let's make one thing clear. I am not a coach. If Neuheisel is looking for some Pro Bono work I would be interested to interview him for the position. As far as I am concerned I think my wife will be the coach and the player. She is going to be coaching me by telling me what to do that can make her more comfortable. My mission is to obey. I think calling men "coach" is one of the biggest misnomer ever. Regardless that is my position and when the big game comes I'll be there from the pre-game warm up until retirement.